


the journey itself

by stargazershiro (littlelionbabe)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Pure Unadulterated Fluff, all the cliches that come with fake dating, bed sharing, emt!keith, keith is lance's adopted brother, librarian!shiro, oh no theres only one bed what do we do, on all accounts, side Hunk/Lance, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 06:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12150543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelionbabe/pseuds/stargazershiro
Summary: “What’s that?” Shiro asked as he placed a plate in front of Keith.“Invitation,” Keith mumbled, “to Lance and Hunk’s wedding.”“Should be exciting. It’s in May, right?”“Yeah, that’s what they’ve been saying.”Keith was happy for them, he really was. Hunk and Lance were his best friends and they deserved the world, but to Keith their wedding was a reminder of his own sad love life – or lack thereof. Across the table, Shiro watched him, his brow furrowed.“Want to talk about it?” Shiro asked. Keith remained silent.The silence stretched on for a few minutes before Keith finally broke it.“It’s just… I know Lance is going to try and set me up with a date and I really … I don’t want to deal with it. I don’t want to meet whatever guy he thinks is perfect for me and I don’t want to think about the fact that I needed him to set me up with someone, you know? I’m just. Tired.” He kept his gaze firmly planted on his plate.The room fell quiet again.“I’ll be your plus one.”(AKA the fake dating AU that no one asked for)





	the journey itself

**Author's Note:**

> This has been... an adventure. Holy shit. I have a lot of words, none of which feel like they can fully sum up how I'm feeling right now. I didn't think I was going to be able to finish this, honestly. Which I know sounds ridiculous, because this fic isn't very long, but I am the world's slowest writer on the best of days, and the best of days were few and far between. 
> 
> I want to thank, first and foremost, my amazing and fantastic artists, [mothable](http://mothable.tumblr.com/) and [osuramen](https://twitter.com/osuramen?lang=en), whose art can be found [here (x)](https://twitter.com/osu_voltron/status/910799195644190721) and [here (x).](http://mothableart.tumblr.com/post/165609211894/my-art-for-ushiiwakas-fic-the-journey-itself) They were so incredibly patient with me, especially when I didn't deserve it. Y'all were so sweet and kind to me and forgiving of how short of a turn around I ended up leaving you with. 
> 
> To [Maddie](http://ozonecologne.tumblr.com/)\- I owe you the world. You don't even go here and yet you provided me with the most wonderful input and really helped me to make my fic something I can be proud to post. Your kindness and friendship is something I will treasure, always. You make me so incredibly happy. 
> 
> To [Char](http://lvtvr.tumblr.com/) and [Sunny](http://kcgane.tumblr.com/), who looked over my work without a second thought and made sure I wasn't screwing up too badly. 
> 
> To [Teddy](https://sleepyhunk.tumblr.com/), [Dallie](http://duscaenorange.tumblr.com/%0A), and [Ris,](http://cryingcryptids.tumblr.com/) my personal cheerleaders. 
> 
> To the entirety of the Salt Squad and all of my followers on tumblr who had to put up with me complaining literally 24/7. 
> 
> To my roommates, who don't give a shit about Voltron and yet have to hear me talk about it constantly because I never shut up.
> 
> To Anneliese. You memefucker. I'm writing your "bj-behind-arby's" asap, I swear. 
> 
> ***
> 
> "Everyday is a journey, and the journey itself is home." -Matsuo Basho

Keith could have sworn that he was melting. The thermometer in the kitchen may have read 84 degrees, but he was sure it was lying. There was just no possible way it was less than 100.

His body was heavy, and moving itself felt like a chore. To make matters even worse, he was bored. There was very little that could be done on a day like today, he decided. There was nothing to do, so nothing would get done.

"What are you _doing_?" Lance’s voice floated down through the heat-induced fog that surrounded Keith’s mind. He nudged his brother’s thigh with his foot, confused as to why he would be sprawled on the kitchen floor.

Keith responded with an unintelligible series of grunts.

Rolling his eyes, Lance dropped down next to Keith and began poking him in the side in order to get a more substantial response.

"Quit it. The tiles feel really good. Nice and cool,” Keith mumbled into the floor.

“I guess that makes sense.” He let his body fall next to Keith’s and was quiet for a moment before addressing him again. “I was gonna run down to Hunk’s house later and see if he wanted to go to the pool. Wanna come with?”

Keith let out a groan.

“C’mon. It wouldn’t be until later today. I’ll carry you there if I have to. Or I’ll get Hunk to carry you. One of the two.”

For a while, Keith didn’t speak. He knew how this was going to play out. Inevitably, he would end up as a weird third wheel. Hunk and Lance were _HunkandLance_ , practically inseparable. They always tried to include him, but Keith perpetually felt as though he were on the sidelines, a side character in the adventure novel that was HunkandLance. Today wouldn’t be any different. He wondered if he would be able to make it over to the the park without them noticing.

“You couldn’t pick me up if you tried, not with your noodle arms. It’d have to be Hunk.”

Lance gasped in mock outrage.

“ _Noodle arms_ ? I’ll have you know that these,” he flexed his arms, to no effect, “are made of _steel_.”

Keith snorted.

“Yeah, sure. I’m in. But only if you buy me a popsicle when we get there.”

“Ugh, fine. Just this once, though.”

They continued to lie on the floor for a while longer, not wanting to get up from the cool tiles. Lance was the first one to break the silence.

“I was going to make fun of you for laying in the middle of the kitchen like a dork, but this is actually pretty comfortable.” Lance sighed and turned over to press his cheek to the floor. “Damn comfortable.”

“ _Lance!_ Language!” Their mom snapped at him from the doorframe, a bag full of groceries balanced on her hip.

Keith jumped a little, startled. He hadn’t even heard her come in.

“Sorry, Mamá.” Lance sat up, unable to meet his mom’s eyes.

“Uh-uh. That doesn’t cut it. We don’t swear in this house, you know that.” Her frown softened, shifting slowly into a smile at the sight of her two boys sitting on the kitchen floor. “And what, exactly, are you two doing down there anyway?”

“Keith and I were hot and the floor was cool. We decided to take advantage of that.” Lance jumped up from where he was sitting and took the grocery bag from his mom’s hands. “So, Mom. Keith and I were thinking about going down to the pool later today, with Hunk. Is that alright?” He smiled sweetly, the very picture of faux innocence.

“Did you finish cleaning your room?”

Lance’s face fell.

“No, but – ”

“No buts. Clean your room and then you can go to the pool.”

He handed her back the grocery bag and scurried away, presumably to clean his room. It was more likely, thought Keith, that he was just going to shove everything into his closet and call it a day.

“Keith.” His mom’s eyes softened. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She sat down next to him, crossing her legs and setting the grocery bag down next to her

“Doesn’t seem like it. You’re more somber than usual. Us moms can always sense when something’s up.” She stroked his cheek gently and smiled down at him. “Mijo… what’s wrong?”

Keith turned his face away from her and bit his lip, unsure of how to put his feelings into words.

“Just… worried, I guess. Lance and Hunk are going to be together forever, so where does that leave me? I’m just their third wheel. I’m not ever…” He trailed off, not sure he really wanted to voice that thought. He was sure his mom was just going to think he was being dramatic.

“Oh, Keith.” She stopped caressing his cheek and moved her hand down to his, lacing their fingers together. “You just have to be patient. I swear to you, corazón, there’s someone out there for you. It may seem like a distant dream, but one day you’ll find someone - and it’ll feel like coming home.”

She began stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. “You know, that’s how it felt when we met you.”

Keith twisted his head to look at her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“When we first met you, it felt like our family was whole. Our family felt complete before, but it wasn’t until I looked down at your troublemaking smile and scraped knees that I realized that you were the missing piece I didn't even know we needed.” She let out a small laugh, lost in thought. “You were the most skeptical five-year-old I had ever met. Took you a while to warm up to the rest of the family because of it. But you got there eventually, once you decided to stop hiding behind my skirts.”

She readjusted her hold on his hand, cradling it in both of hers. “You are an important part of our family, Keith, and I swear, one day you're going to let someone into your life who finds you just as important as we do. They'll look at you like you are their entire world and everything will fall into place.”

***

_Everything will fall into place…_

His mother’s words from fifteen years ago were brought to the forefront of his mind as he slowly awoke, blending in with the fading memory of the dream that had visited him. He caught flashes of interlaced hands and warm smiles. He could almost feel the weight of Shiro’s arms around him.

A gentle press of lips was the last thing Keith could remember about his dream before the harsh buzzing of his alarm clock interrupted his reverie. He swore under his breath as he rolled to the edge of his bed to slap the alarm quiet. He lay there for a minute more, closing his eyes and trying to recall every last detail of the dream the night had brought him, but it was like trying to catch water in his cupped hands. It was useless, he thought to himself. Nothing was going to change.

Physically getting out of bed took more effort than he would ever care to admit, but the soft sounds of Shiro frying something in the kitchen – hopefully bacon – finally encouraged Keith to his feet.

Thankfully, he hadn’t been wrong. Shiro was humming a nameless tune as he flipped bacon and fried eggs, that god-awful pink apron Keith had given him as a joke tied neatly around his waist. Keith sleepily scratched his stomach as he made a beeline for the coffee maker.

“Mornin’,” Shiro said, motioning to the table with his spatula. “I put the newspaper over by yesterday’s mail, but I really think we should cancel our subscription. I get the news online and you only ever read the comics.”

Keith offered a grunt in response. He flipped through the newspaper disinterestedly as he sipped his coffee, eventually turning his attention over to the stack of mail that he hadn’t seen last night when he had come in. A letter from Lance and Hunk was at the bottom of the pile, the silver embossing and ornate handwriting on the front making the contents abundantly clear. Keith felt his heart drop before he even opened it.

Shiro placed a plate of bacon and eggs on the table in front of Keith and sat down next to him.

“What’s that?” he asked, nodding to the paper in Keith’s hands.

“Invitation,” Keith mumbled, “to Lance and Hunk’s wedding.”

“Oh, that should be exciting. It’s in June, right?”

“Yeah, that’s what they’ve been saying. The thirtieth, I think.”

Keith was happy for them, he really was. Hunk and Lance were his family and they deserved the happiness that they had found, but to Keith their wedding was also a reminder of his own sad love life – or lack thereof. He set the invitation aside and began pushing the perfectly cooked eggs around on his plate. Across the table, Shiro watched him with a furrowed brow.

“Want to talk about it?” Shiro asked.

Keith remained silent. Shiro slowly sipped his orange juice.

The silence stretched on for a few minutes before Keith finally spoke.

“It’s just – I know Lance is going to try and set me up with a date and I really … I don’t want to deal with it. I don’t want to meet whatever guy he thinks is perfect for me and I don’t want to think about the fact that I needed him to set me up with someone, you know? I’m just. Tired.”

He kept his gaze firmly planted on his plate. The room fell quiet again.

“I can be your date.”

Keith’s head whipped up. Shiro had spoken so softly that, surely, he had misheard him.

“I mean - your plus one,” Shiro started, clearing his throat and speaking rapidly. “It’s not like you’re dating anyone, right? Plus, this way you don’t need to try to hunt someone down just for the wedding. I’m sure I can get Allura to give me that weekend off, no problem.”

He shifted his gaze off of Keith and let out a small cough, face slightly flushed.

Keith could have sworn he felt his heart stop. Was he still dreaming?

“Anyway,” Shiro pushed his chair back suddenly, “I was thinking of making banana pancakes too. Or is that too much?”

“Hell no. You know they’re my favorite. Sounds perfect.” A faint smile graced his face as he watched Shiro bustle around the kitchen.

_One day you’ll find someone and it’ll feel like coming home._

“I found him, Mamá. I found him.” Keith whispered, his words as soft as a breath.

***

The morning passed quickly. Too quickly, in Shiro’s opinion. He could have spent the rest of his life in that kitchen with Keith, savoring quiet moments of domesticity. But no matter how hard he wished for it, time wouldn’t just stop because he wanted it to.

He inhaled deeply as he passed the neighborhood florist on his way to work, breathing in the sweet air that hung around the shop. He loved that scent; the intoxicating floral aroma that marked the halfway point between the apartment he shared with Keith and the library where he worked. It was second only to the smell of Keith’s shampoo, a scent he was familiar with due to Keith’s tendency to fall asleep on his shoulder during their Saturday night movie marathons.

His mind was still lingering on Keith as he approached the steps of the library. Out of habit, he gave a brief pat to one of the stone lions guarding the front door. He made his way through the stacks of books to the circulation desk, where Allura was scanning some books for an elderly couple.

“Do you need any help over here?” he asked, carefully pinning his nametag to his sweater.

“Not at the moment, no. It’s been quiet today – not that Tuesdays are ever really busy outside of story time.” She glanced down at her watch. “You’re running a bit late today.”

“I’m right on time,” he responded, but double checked the time just to be sure.

“Which is late for you. What took you so long?”

“Well, Keith –”

“Ah. Got it. You were lost in Keith’s eyes. No need to explain any further.” She waved her hand dismissively.

Shiro shot her a look, then continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Keith was talking to me about Lance and Hunk’s wedding.”

“Oh, they’ve sent out the invitations, then? I’ll have to double check the mail when I get home later.” Allura had been friends with the gang since a fateful project brought her and Shiro together while they were still in school. Becoming Shiro’s friend meant becoming friends with Keith, and then all of Keith’s friends by extension.

“Yeah. Keith was worried because he didn’t have someone to go with him. I told him that I’d be his plus one.”

Allura stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.  “That sounds an awful lot like a date. Did you ask him out? Finally?”

Shiro felt the blood rush to his face. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just going for … moral support.” He trailed off, pointedly directing his gaze away from Allura’s knowing smile. He couldn’t quite manage to hide the light flush that dusted his cheeks, though.

“Shiro.” She placed her hand on his shoulder. “I know that taking it slow is how you operate, but if you wait much longer, he’s going to find someone else to take with him to weddings. Someone who isn’t just there for ‘moral support.’”

Her words weren’t unkind, but they still stung.

The worst part was, he knew Allura was right. Keith was his best friend and had been ever since they roomed together their freshman year of college. They were practically inseparable, as their friends liked to tease. And it was true. Neither of them even considered living on their own after the year was over. Theirs was an easy comfort.

He didn’t want to screw up what they had, but Keith wasn’t going to wait for him. What was he expecting, for them to stay roommates forever? Eventually Keith would find someone, move out, start a family – and Shiro would get left behind, a forgotten memory of days gone by. The more he thought about it, the harder he found it to breathe.

“Shiro?” Allura squeezed his shoulder.

He looked up at her and forced a smile. “I’m fine. I swear.”

She eyed him with concern but let the matter drop.

“Here.” She pressed a book into his hands. “ _Clifford the Big Red Dog_. After last week, we’ve had an influx of parents requesting that you be put in charge of story time. I blame this entirely on the sweater vest you were wearing. That and your dumb little reading glasses. So here I am, catering to our patrons needs and putting you in charge. Have fun with the moms.”

Shiro laughed a little.

“Remind me again when the wedding gets a little closer, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” He started walking away, book in hand.

“Oh, and Shiro?”

Shiro turned back to face her.

“Try not to worry so much. That boy is just as far gone as you are.”

***

Keith’s morning seemed to drag. After Shiro left for the library, he cleaned the kitchen with a rigor reserved for tasks that he only completed when he was ignoring something much more important. At that moment, he would sooner clean the entire apartment than RSVP to his brother’s wedding. He’d much rather do literally anything else, if he were honest with himself.

After buttoning and unbuttoning his work shirt for the fifteenth time, he sighed and grabbed his phone from the bedside table.

Keith’s thumb hovered over the dial button. While he knew he was going to have to get over himself and make the damn call eventually, right then he was praying that a meteor would strike the apartment instead. Logically, there was no reason for him to worry. This was his Lance, after all. His brother. His long time confidante. Lance’s happiness was more important than his own stupid hang-ups. Still, he hesitated.

It seemed as if some cosmic entity had it out for him, though. No sooner had he decided it would be best to put the phone aside and come up with some half-assed excuse not to make the call, Lance’s contact photo filled the screen. Keith fumbled the phone a little, accepting the call mostly out of habit.

“Keith! Hey, did you get the invite yet? To the wedding?” Lance’s voice sounded tinny and distorted in that way that told Keith that Lance was using his car’s speaker phone to talk to him.

“Hey, Lance. Yeah, I got it. I’ve been meaning to call you about that, actually.” Keith dropped onto the bed and began to fiddle with his nametag, stroking his fingers over the engraved letters that read ‘Keith Fuentes, EMT.’

“Let me guess – you need me to set you up with a date.” Without waiting for a response, he continued. “No problem, bro. Hunk and I actually met this one guy the other day –”

Keith winced, but cut Lance off before he could explain why exactly he thought this guy would be perfect for him.

“No, I’m – I’m fine on that front. I’ve got someone,” Keith said, a little more forcefully than the situation probably required.

“Yeah. Okay, right,” Lance said flatly. “You’re so hung up on Shiro that I doubt you’ve so much as noticed anyone else. And unless you somehow managed to work up the nerve to ask him, then I’m afraid I must do my duty as your brother-slash-best friend and score you a hot date.”

Keith was silent.

“Wait… Don’t tell me you asked him. I’m so proud of you, man! Seriously! I told you that you should just go for it. Nothing to worry about after all.” Keith could picture Lance’s grin perfectly.

Rationally, he knew he should tell Lance the truth. This whole thing was just going to spiral out of control and he was just going to end up hurt as a result. It was inevitable.

But Lance was still talking.

“I mean, you two have been orbiting around each other for ages so I’m glad you finally managed to get your heads out of your asses.”

Keith snorted, a half smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, _‘orbiting?’_ ”

“You know. Circling. A perfectly normal word to use in this situation. I’ll have you know that I have a very extensive vocabulary. It’s part of what Hunk finds so charming about me, the other part being my _extensive_ –”

“Did you and Hunk go to the planetarium recently?” Keith cut him off. The planetarium seemed the most likely place he would have picked up such a ridiculous word, and Keith was desperately trying to avoid hearing his brother make a reference to his dick.

“As a matter of fact, we did. Last weekend. When you have a membership, Keith, you go every chance you can. And they were showing a documentary on historic spacecraft that Hunk really wanted to see. But you’re not getting me to change the subject so easily. You and Shiro. Spill.”

“Nothing to spill, Lance. It just… happened, I guess.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie, and Keith didn’t really feel like telling Lance the truth. For a moment, he just wanted to indulge in the fantasy that Lance had created, to pretend that he and Shiro were actually dating.

“Knew you would get there eventually, bro. You’re staying at the house that weekend, right? I’ll let Mom know that Shiro’ll be there too – no need to thank me.”

Keith swore mentally. He had forgotten he was going to be staying at their childhood home. Their childhood home, where his old bedroom only had one double bed. He almost groaned out loud. This was going to be torture.

On the other end of the phone, Lance continued to chatter, describing some new wedding plans that he and Hunk had decided on.

“And Hunk agreed that our first dance should be to _You’re My Best Friend,_ because Queen is always a classic and it’s honestly just so _us_ , you know? It’s not the most conventional but whatever. Oh my god, Keith, I still can’t believe this is actually happening. I’m getting _married_.”

“Not getting cold feet, are you?”

“Me? Never. Kinda can’t wrap my head around the fact that Hunk said yes, though.”

“…are you serious? Lance, the whole family has known this was going to be the outcome since you two started dating. Probably since before that, if we’re being honest. Especially Mom.”

“Yeah, but you know Mamá. She’s always so hopelessly optimistic about everything. She was right, though. All that shit about _coming home_? That’s what it feels like with Hunk. I’m so fucking lucky, man. And, shit, so are you. Look at us, landing two of the best guys in the world.”

Keith’s voice caught in his throat, the truth of the matter a heavy weight on his chest. He let out a nervous cough.

“Yeah. We really lucked out.”

“Right? God, I’m so excited. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Of course. Talk to you later.”

Keith ended the call and let the hand holding the phone drop into his lap. He sat there for a while, staring at the screen long after it went dark and wondering how the fuck he could have possibly let himself get into this mess.

***

If Keith had thought that the morning had seemed to drag, it was nothing compared to the rest of the day. He threw himself into his work, but the time between each emergency call seemed to last forever. He replayed the conversation with Lance over and over in his mind, trying to plan out what he was going to say to Shiro so that this situation could at least make some sense.

When the day finally ended, he trudged back home, each step feeling heavy. It was long past midnight by the time he managed to drag himself into their apartment, but Shiro was still up, a cup of chamomile clutched in his hands.

“Hey. Just boiled some water in case you wanted something hot to drink.”

“Thanks. Can I steal a tea bag from you?”

Shiro hummed his assent into his mug as he took a drink.

“What are you even doing up?” Keith asked as he rummaged around in the cupboards. “Usually you’ve passed out by the time I get home.”

“Couldn’t sleep. Figured I might as well wait up for you.” Shiro’s voice was deeper than usual, made husky by the late hour.

“I appreciate it.” He took a slow breath, steeling himself for what he needed to say. “Actually, I had something I needed to talk to you about. I talked with Lance today. Told him that you were going to be my plus one.” He kept his eyes turned down towards his tea as he continued. “Which Lance took to mean… Well, he took it to mean that we were dating.”

Shiro choked on his tea, spitting a little as he coughed.

“Are you–” Keith started to ask.

Shiro waved him off and made a motion signaling for him to continue. Keith eyed him with concern, pausing a little before speaking again.

“I mean, you know Lance. Once he gets an idea into his head, it can be hard to tell him anything different. So, uh. Yeah. Lance thinks we’re dating now?” He rubbed the back of his neck as he lapsed into silence.

Shiro bit his lip. “Could have gone worse?” he finally offered.

Keith snorted.

“Yeah, could have gone a lot worse. But still... not ideal. I’m sure Lance has already told the rest of the family about my new relationship status. Or, well, _our_ new relationship status.” Keith leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, waiting for Shiro’s response.

“So, we’re boyfriends now.”

He nodded a little, absently.

“I’m not going to force you into being my pretend boyfriend, Shiro. Especially not for my brother’s wedding.”

“No, don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”

“You’re oddly calm about this.”

“In the grand scheme of things, it’s not really a big deal. We go to the wedding,” he paused for a second, touching his tongue to his teeth in a way that told Keith that he was trying to collect his thoughts, “and then a few months later, we have an amicable fake-breakup. If we tell Lance that we decided that we really only thought of each other as best friends and not boyfriends, he’ll probably do the rest of the work for us.”

Hearing Shiro describe the inevitability of the end of their admittedly fake relationship make Keith’s heart twist in a way that he didn’t really want to dwell on.

“Man, that’s really fucking romantic.” Keith forced a smirk onto his face, determined not to let this situation get the better of him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Keith Fuentes, would you please, please be my boyfriend? I need you to say yes because my heart will break if you say no. Wait, should I get down on one knee? Because I can if you want me to.”

Keith pushed his shoulder gently, the smile on his face genuine this time.

“Asshole.”

***

“So… I may have ended up as Keith’s fake boyfriend.”

Allura dropped the small stack of books she was holding directly onto her foot. She let out a little yelp of pain, but quickly recovered.

“What the _hell_ , Shiro?” she hissed. “When I asked you if anything exciting had happened this weekend, I honestly was expecting you to wax poetic about Keith conveniently falling asleep on your shoulder again during movie night, not” – she made a vague motion with her hand, encompassing all of Shiro with her gesture – “whatever the hell it is you’re talking about.”

“I know, I know. But apparently when Keith called Lance, Lance made some assumptions and Keith couldn’t convince him otherwise and, honestly, it’s just easier at this point to just. I don’t know. Go with it?” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly.

Allura’s eyes narrowed. “Are you sure it’s not just easier _for you_?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Shiro. That innocent act might work on everybody else, but this is me you’re talking to. You know exactly what I’m referring to. Or have you forgotten your _debilitating crush_ on Keith? This just seems awfully… convenient, for lack of a better word.”

“You’re the one that’s always insisting Keith feels the same as I do.” He crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at Allura.

“Which you always deny. I just don’t think that this is fair – to either one of you. Someone is going to end up hurt, probably both of you if we’re being honest. I don’t want to see that happen. And it’s going to happen.”

Allura pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled slowly. “Just, go reshelve the general fiction section or something.” She pushed past Shiro, muttering something about “those absolute idiots” as she made her way to the break room in the back.

Shiro couldn’t keep the look of frustration off his face as he grabbed the books Allura had dropped and set about restocking them. Regular patrons gave him worried looks as he shoved some hardbacks back into their respective shelves, slightly alarmed by the lack of the usual regard he showed the books.

After he pushed the final book back in its proper place, he paused for a moment, fingers still lingering on the spine. He felt the weight of everything crash down upon him, the reality of the whole situation hitting him for the first time. He dropped his head down, letting it rest on the shelf in front of him, and let out a couple of curses under his breath.

Logically, he knew that Allura was right, but he could apologize to her later. Right now, he just needed to figure out how he was going to make it through Lance’s wedding. The more he thought about it, the more complicated it became. He needed to pretend to be a version of himself that wasn’t in love with Keith, acting as a version of himself that _was_ – when, of course, he was already in love with Keith. This could end incredibly poorly, and it probably would, especially if he was incapable of keeping how he really felt under wraps while in character. Keith wasn’t going to want to talk to him, let alone live with him, if he knew that Shiro thought of him as anything other than his friend. Despite what Allura said, he was positive that Keith didn’t return his feelings.

He took a couple of steadying breaths and pushed himself off the bookshelf, steeling himself for the day to come.

“Come on Shiro,” he murmured to himself. “Focus. You can handle this. Everything will be okay, you just have to _focus_.”

He walked back through the stacks preoccupied, unable to believe the lies he told himself.

***

“Leaving on Friday would probably be best, if you can get off. Then we don’t have to feel like we’re rushing to get there. Plus, then Mamá will make us breakfast on Saturday and since you’re there, she’ll probably go all out.”

The smell of his mom’s café con leche alone motivated Keith to get up every morning when he was in high school, and he wasn’t above admitting that it was what was largely motivating him to return home sooner than he needed to.

Shiro didn’t seem to be listening. From where he was reclining, Keith nudged Shiro with his foot. Shiro stopped staring off into space and turned his body to face Keith, their legs tangling where they met in the middle of the couch. Shiro closed the book that had been open in his lap, using his finger to mark his spot.

“Hello? Friday? Can you get Allura to give you one more day off?” Keith reiterated. They needed to finalize their plans, now that the wedding was only a month away. Time had moved fast since that fated phone call with Lance.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can. It’s not like I ever take time off anyway, so she should be okay with it.”

Keith watched as Shiro turned back to the book in his hands. He studied him, noting every furrow in his brow and every stray hair.

“You’re pretty quiet tonight. Everything okay?” Keith asked.

“I’m fine, I’m just reading.” Shiro held the book up, like this proved his point.

“No, you’re not. You haven’t turned the page in thirty minutes. Nice try, though. Spill.” He poked Shiro with his foot again.

With a noise of frustration, Shiro let the book fall into his lap. “It’s dumb. Like, really dumb. I… I don’t know how to dance.”

“Is that all?” Keith began to laugh. “Shiro, don’t worry. It’s not that big a deal.”

“Well, we’re going to have to dance at the wedding, aren’t we?” The frown on his face deepened, becoming a fully-fledged pout.

“Yeah, but like... it’s gonna be so lowkey that it won’t even matter. Everyone will be drunk – or at least headed in that direction – by that point.”

His words did nothing to ease Shiro’s anxiety, he could tell. Across the couch, he worried his lip between his teeth.

Keith cleared his throat. “If it’ll make you feel better, I can.”

He paused, afraid that what he was going to say might be crossing a line. “I can teach you. Mom made us all take dance lessons when she got remarried. So I know the basics, at least.”

Shiro didn’t respond immediately and Keith’s hands began to tremble a little as he worried he might have crossed some unspoken line.

“That would be amazing, Keith.” He smiled at Keith fondly, a softness to his gaze that forced a blush to Keith’s cheeks.

Rather than responding, he kicked Shiro with his foot again, sure that if he opened his mouth, the feelings that were welling up inside him would come flooding out.

Shiro kicked him back, hitting him in the knee. “Why do you insist on taking up the whole couch? Get back over to your side.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My side _is_ the entire couch.” He slouched down further, taking up even more space on the already small couch.

Shiro kicked him again, laughing as he did so.

Keith pretended to be annoyed, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Ugh, what are you, six?”

“You started it!” With a well-placed kick, Shiro managed to push Keith to the edge of the cushions. His balance upset, Keith wobbled for a bit before landing with a _thump_ on the carpet.

“Oh shit, Keith, I’m so sor–“

Keith smirked and pushed himself off the floor, tackling Shiro before he could finish his apology.  He wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck and twisted his body, using all of his weight to bring them both crashing down to the floor.

It was far from a perfect plan, Keith realized as he laid on the floor, pinned down by Shiro’s body weight. Keith felt his face heat up as he realized the position they were in. He didn’t really mind, but he was sure that if this continued for more than a minute, Shiro would soon find out about certain less-than-pure thoughts that he had, especially if Shiro’s knee remained so close to his crotch. That would mean an immediate end to their friendship, Keith was sure.

“Ugh, get off. You’re too fucking heavy.” He tried to knee Shiro in the stomach, not that it did much good.  

Shiro flopped down next to him, slightly winded but laughing all the same.

“I don’t know if I can trust you to teach me, Fuentes. Not if you keep tackling me.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, I’m such a threat to you." He turned his head to look at Shiro and felt the laughter die in his throat as he watched the unrestrained joy spread across Shiro’s face.

_Fuck_. He was in so deep. So very, very deep.

***

This was a bad idea, Keith concluded. Sure, when they were sitting on the couch together a week ago, offering to teach Shiro how to dance seemed like a relatively harmless suggestion. Now, Keith was fully aware of how huge of a mistake he had made.

Through the thin cotton of his shirt, he could feel the heat from Shiro’s hand on his waist. Warmth seemed to radiate from the point where their bodies connected, making him feel like his entire being was on fire. He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d managed to get himself into this situation, but he was content to revel in the moment, to memorize the feeling of Shiro’s metal hand in his and the way their bodies moved in time to the music. He wanted this feeling etched into his very core.

Classical music played gently from the crappy stereo that he and Shiro had picked up at a garage sale when they were in college. The soft strains of Strauss kept time as he led Shiro through the waltz, who was entirely out of his element, that much was clear. He kept tripping over his own feet and fumbling the movements, forcing Keith to correct him each time.

Keith wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Shiro was a fast learner though, Keith would give him that. He was picking this up much faster than Keith had, when his mom had forced him to take lessons. There were still times when Shiro stepped on his feet, but it happened less and less frequently as the evening wore on. And wear on, it did. Keith glanced up at the clock, noting how much time had passed since their impromptu lesson had begun. It had grown dark without either of them even noticing. His grip on Shiro’s shoulder loosened, knowing that he should let go and call the session to an end, even reluctant as he was to break the peace that they had created between them.

Shiro broke it for him by stepping on Keith’s foot again – hard. Still in pain, Keith couldn’t help but laugh a little at the whole situation.

“Sorry, sorry – wait, are you laughing at me?” Shiro asked. Keith laughed even harder at the look of bewilderment on Shiro’s face.

“It’s – it’s not even funny,” Keith managed to say between laughs, “It’s just… I had been thinking about how you hadn’t stepped on my foot in a while. I jinxed myself. And then your face –” He burst into laughter once more.

It was infectious. Shiro chuckled at the sight of Keith cracking up over something so small. There was something comforting about the sound of each other’s laughter and the way they could feel the other’s body shaking with amusement against them, comforting in a way they couldn’t really describe. Shared joy, pure and simple.

Keith’s laughter subsided slowly as he held Shiro’s body against his. He knew it was a cliché, but he wished that he could freeze time right there and then. He needed to distance himself from Shiro –  he was only teaching him so that they wouldn’t look like idiots at Lance and Hunk’s wedding, after all –  but a selfish part of him wanted to never let go.

Realizing that his embrace had gone on a bit longer than it probably should have, he straightened his body and reassumed the proper waltz posture.

“Once more through the steps. Then we can call out for pizza. Or Thai.”

Shiro groaned. He must’ve been worn out from practicing all evening, but he straightened his back all the same.

“C’mon, one more time.”

***

To this day, Keith wasn’t quite sure how Shiro managed to cram himself into his stupid, tiny Prius. It just didn’t seem physically possible. And yet, there they were, making the five-hour trek to the Fuentes homestead in a car that was definitely built for a much smaller person.

“Remind me again why you bought a car that’s approximately the size of your closet?” He adjusted a little in the – admittedly comfortable – passenger seat.

“Gas mileage, Keith. Gas mileage.”

The trip passed surprisingly quickly for a drive that took up the better part of the day. Shiro insisted on singing along to a good majority of songs that came on the radio, Keith glaring daggers at him all the while. His pseudo-annoyance only lasted until the radio jumped to a Kesha song and Shiro caught him mouthing the words. He refused to let Keith live it down.

They stopped for lunch in a town that Keith was pretty sure only had one stop light, but the little roadside diner that they found served the best cherry pie either of them had ever eaten and the gas station next door had a statue of a brontosaurus that Keith declared he had to climb before they left. The gas station attendant who clearly wasn’t paid enough to deal with dinosaur-climbing tourists ran them off the premises, but not before Shiro managed to snap a pic of Keith grinning triumphantly, aviators glinting in the sunlight, atop the statue.

Keith fell asleep once they made it back to the highway, warm and full and lulled by the vibrations of the car as it rolled down the highway. Shiro turned the radio down so that it was barely more than white noise and didn’t bother to wake Keith until the GPS told him that they were turning into his parent’s neighborhood.

“How long was I out for?” he asked, rubbing his face blearily.

“Well, we’re about five minutes out, so about two hours?”  

Keith groaned as they pulled into the driveway. “Do we have to do this? Can’t we pretend something came up last minute instead?”

“Yeah, you have fun trying to explain that to Lance and Hunk. Come on, it’ll be fine. I’ve got your back.” He gave Keith a nudge before grabbing their bags and heading up the steps to the front stoop.

Keith, begrudgingly, followed him.  

“Smile, Keith. We’re madly in love, remember?”

Keith remembered. It was all he could think about. He flashed a quick smile, and gestured towards the door. Unconvinced, Shiro reached for the doorbell, but the door swung open before he could ring it.

“Mijo!” Keith’s mom pulled him into a tight hug. “And Shiro! It’s been too long!” Shiro dropped the bags he was carrying in order to let Sra. Fuentes wrap him in a hug as well. She pulled back from the hug and cradled his face in her hands, studying him with an intensity that made Keith shift nervously behind them, sure that she was reading their deceit in Shiro’s eyes.

“You’ve only grown more handsome since I last saw you.” Her smile widened.

Keith let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“What are you doing, carrying all the luggage? Keith should be helping you with that. Come in, come in. I’ve got pastelitos de guayaba and shortbread cookies cooling in the kitchen. Make yourself at home, you two.” She ushered them further into the house, grabbing the bags from Shiro.

“I’ll take these upstairs for you. Go, eat.” And with that, she disappeared up the stairs.

“Off to a good start.” Shiro bent down to whisper to Keith, making him jump a little at the feeling of Shiro’s breath on his ear.

“We should… pastelitos…” Keith muttered, his face aflame, skirting around Shiro and making his way into the kitchen where his mom’s pastries waited for him.

God, he had missed these. He managed to devour a cookie before Shiro followed him into the kitchen and had made his way through two more and a pastelito by the time his mom made it back downstairs. She took one look at the mess of crumbs her son had already made and sighed deeply.

“You know, I _can_ give you the recipes. Then you wouldn’t have to act like a starving animal every time you came home.”

“Mm, wouldn’t taste the same,” he mumbled through a large mouthful. “You make it with love.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek, his mouth still full of pastry.

Shiro snorted at his antics from across the kitchen island, his arms folded neatly across his chest.

“Keith! Manners!” his mom chided, and rubbed the crumbs he had left behind off her cheek. She was smiling, though, happy to have her son back home.

“Dinner is going to be in a few hours, so don’t fill yourself up on cookies.”

“I can’t make any promises, Mamá.” He grinned at her, already reaching for another cookie.

***

Dinner was going to be a relatively quiet affair, just Keith’s mom and stepfather. Keith’s sisters wouldn’t be arriving until tomorrow morning, which Keith was infinitely grateful for. He was already on edge, he didn’t need his sisters’ probing questions making him feel worse.

As it was, with every lie he told his parents, he felt the weight in his stomach grow heavier.

“So, Shiro. Keith hasn’t told us anything about your relationship.” Keith’s mom folded her hands together under her chin, her eyes alight with curiosity. “What exactly are your intentions with my son?”

“Seriously, Mom?” Keith scoffed.

She shushed him and waved him off, eager to hear what Shiro had to say.

“Um, well.” Shiro coughed and the tips of his ears turned pink. “I guess… I just want to stay with him as long as he’ll have me.”

He set down his fork and reached next to him for Keith’s hand, lacing their fingers as he spoke.

“Keith has been… he’s been with me through a lot these past few years and I can’t imagine what I would do without him.” He smiled easily.

“When did you realize that you loved him?” His mom seemed genuinely interested, which, in Keith’s opinion, made everything worse.

“I guess maybe that second year of college, when we roomed together again. That was when I realized, I think.” He met Keith’s eyes. “Falling in love with him was easy.” After a second, he brought Keith’s hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it.

Keith pulled his hand away from Shiro’s and shoved his chair back from the table.

“I – I’m feeling really exhausted from the drive here. I think it’s best if I turn in early.” He stood quickly and grabbed his plate, placing it in the sink. He needed to act as if everything was normal. He needed to.

“Do you…?” Shiro made as if to stand up, but Keith cut him off.

“No, you’re fine. Stay and finish dinner. Enjoy dessert.” He gave his mom a kiss and bolted from the room, taking the steps two at a time.

He closed the door to his old room behind him, heart pounding as he sank to the floor. He was rapidly learning just how much of a mistake this was. Hearing those words come out of Shiro’s mouth and knowing they weren’t real was more than he could handle, given that his own feelings seemed to be multiplying by the minute. He stayed on the floor for a while, resting his back against the door and trying his best to steady his breathing.

After a while, he got to his feet unsteadily, nearly tripping over his own legs as he tried to stand. He stripped off his pants and kicked them into the corner before falling into bed, exhausted. Keith laid there for a while, sleep blurring the edges of his vision but refusing to overtake him.

Shiro padded into the room a little while later, closing the door as quietly as he could manage.

“Keith? You awake?” he whispered as he changed from his jeans into sweatpants. In lieu of an answer, Keith made a sound not unlike a dying animal. Shiro let out a snort, shedding his shirt and his prosthetic arm as he got ready for bed.

“If you give me a pillow, I can take the floor.”

Keith made another noise and rolled to the other side of the bed.

“Nnngh. Just… get in here.” Part of Keith knew that this was probably the worst idea he had, but the other part, the part that was half-asleep and ready to pass out, didn’t give a shit.

Shiro didn’t respond immediately.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…don’t worry ’bout it...”

The mattress shifted a little as Shiro crawled underneath the covers and made himself comfortable.

“Night, Keith.”

“Night.”

***

Keith woke slowly, feeling comfortable and warm and not wanting to ever move from the bed. After so many interrupted and sleepless night as an EMT, for once in his life, he actually felt well rested. He closed his eyes again and snuggled further into the sheets, further into the warmth of the bed, further into – Shiro.

His eyes shot open as he suddenly realized where, exactly, he was. Shiro’s arm was draped over him, keeping Keith tucked securely against the curl of his body.

Keith lay perfectly still as Shiro’s soft, even breath ghosted along the nape of his neck. He let out a small sigh of relief. There was still time to sneak out of bed and pretend that none of this had ever happened, restful sleep or not. Shiro would never need to know.

Shiro shifted in his sleep, burying his face in Keith’s hair as he arched his body closer. It took all of Keith’s willpower not to react when he realized exactly what part of Shiro’s body was pressing up against his back.

This was a disaster. He tried to slide out from underneath Shiro’s arm but stopped short as soon as he realized that Shiro’s weight was causing him to have a more physical reaction that he would care to admit. The hard planes of Shiro’s body and the way his arm was tucked against Keith’s chest were powerful catalysts, igniting a desire within Keith that just wouldn’t go away. Keith closed his eyes again and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to ground himself and will his morning wood down. It was no use.

He pushed himself out of bed, completely disregarding his previous thoughts about quietly slipping out of bed. Now, he just needed to remove himself from the situation before Shiro could wake up and realize just what their proximity had done to him.

Keith hurried down the hall to the shower, desperate to wash the feeling of guilt off of him. The cold water sluiced down his body, each drop feeling like a needle hitting his skin. He stood there for a while, unmoving, letting the chill of the water calm his body.

Keith couldn’t help but feel like he had taken advantage of his best friend. Shiro didn’t deserve this. He didn’t need a friend who couldn’t share a bed with him without pretending it was something more.

Sighing, he reached for the shampoo. Regardless of what had happened, he needed to get ready for the day, for the wedding. _Everything is normal_ , he told himself, even as he knew it was a lie. As long as he could make it through today, that would be enough. After the wedding, everything could go back to the way it was.

***

“Hey, hold on a sec.” Shiro stopped Keith before he left the car. “I didn’t bring it up last night, but we need to talk about boundaries. I crossed a line and I want to apologize.”

Keith, stunned, shook his head. “No, there’s no need. It wasn’t your fault. I just was feeling… nervous. A bit guilty. I’ve always been really bad at lying to my mom.” He turned and flashed a reassuring smile. If Shiro noticed that it was an act, he didn’t call him out on it.

“It’s fine. Seriously. I’m okay with displays of affection. They’re kind of expecting it from us. What was it you told my mom? _You can’t imagine what you would do without me?_ ” Keith’s grin grew larger, more genuine. Teasing, he could do. Teasing was normal. “They know you’re a massive sap now. You can’t take that back.”

Shiro seemed to relax at his words, the grip he had on his keys easing as Keith fell into their usual banter.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I’m _your_ sap. You ready to do this?”

“Not really. But I can’t really do anything about it at this point.” He slid out of the car. “I’m going to go hunt down Lance before the wedding. I’ll find you later.”

Keith had to ask at least five different people before he finally found Lance pacing back and forth in a relatively deserted hallway. He had been flitting around the church, all his nervous energy flooding out of him.

“Whoa. Lance. Are you okay?”

“Keith! Oh, thank God you’re here.” Lance pulled him into a tight hug, one that made Keith feel like his lungs were actually being crushed. “I need you to remind me that Hunk loves me and that he wouldn’t marry me otherwise.”

“Hunk loves you and wouldn’t marry you otherwise.” He tried to pull himself out of Lance’s grip, but to little effect.

“Thank you. Bless you.”

“Seriously, you’re worried about this now? C’mon, man. Pull it together.”

Lance finally let go of him, patting his back as he pulled away. “I got this. I can do this.” He took a couple of steadying breaths. “In forty-five minutes, I'm gonna be married. It's going to be incredible and beautiful and everyone is going to cry.”

Keith wrapped his arm around Lance’s shoulder and began to steer him back to the room that had been repurposed into a dressing room.

“Keith? Thanks for being here, man. I'm so glad you're my brother,” Lance began to ramble.

“You're getting weirdly emotional. Stop that.” He hefted Lance into a plush armchair.

“No, I'm serious! You're my best friend, aside from Hunk. And I'm so happy for you, for you and Shiro. You deserve this. Ugh, I'm all over the place today. Is this what married life does to you? Does it make you into an overly emotional mess?” Lance sprawled out in the chair, throwing his arms over the sides dramatically.

“No, I'm pretty sure that's just you. You good now?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Go back to your loving boyfriend.” Lance pushed him towards the door.

“Okay, fine, I'm going,” Keith said with a sincere smile. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Lance hummed his acknowledgement.

“Give Shiro a kiss for me.”

Keith walked away, not bothering to turn around as he flipped his brother the finger.

***

The wedding was beautiful, as Keith knew it would be. The church had a small garden that Lance and Hunk had immediately fallen in love with when they had been hunting for venues. Keith wasn't quite sure how they had managed seat all of their large family in the space, but seat them they had.

Sunflowers lined the aisle, their warm hue reminding Keith of all the summers they had spent together as kids. Hunk’s favorite flowers. He would beg their mom for some blossoms every summer, until she finally gave him some seeds to start his own garden.

Lance and Hunk were messes throughout the whole ceremony, both of them crying a little as they gave their vows, as if they couldn’t believe that the years they had spent together had finally led to this singular moment, a public testament to what they had managed to build. Keith would never admit to getting a little teary-eyed during the ceremony but as his best friends shared their first kiss as husbands, he had to make use of the handkerchief that Shiro kept in his pocket.

The reception was just as beautiful.

In the center of the room, Hunk and Lance did a very exuberant two-step, large grins lighting up their faces. Keith, on the other hand, lingered on the outskirts of the crowd, content to watch Lance and Hunk enjoy themselves. On the whole, the reception was crowded and a bit louder than Keith was really comfortable with, but he enjoyed himself all the same. It was nice to see everyone so happy and relaxed.

Pidge and Coran, friends that Lance had made at work, joined the happy couple on the dance floor, trying to match Lance and Hunk’s enthusiastic dance steps. Shiro and Allura stood next to Keith, chatting excitedly with Allura’s girlfriend and a few of Lance’s cousins. Keith sipped his drink quietly, content to remain on the periphery of their group where he could watch the events of the evening unfold without being dragged into anything too ridiculous.

Before long, one of Hunk’s younger nieces approached Shiro and pulled him onto the dance floor without preamble. Shiro let himself be dragged along by her, laughing as she tried to lead him in a dance of her own creation. Before long, Shiro took the lead and began dancing clumsily while the girl stood on his feet.

Keith couldn’t take his eyes off of Shiro. Unrestrained joy lit up his face as he moved around the dancefloor. God, he was stunning. Everything about him was beautiful. The way that his neatly combed hair was beginning to fall down around his face. His hastily rolled-up shirtsleeves. His smile. His laughter. Keith was gone.

He was so caught up in watching Shiro that he hardly noticed when the song ended. It took a sharp jab from Allura’s elbow to bring him back to reality. He supposed he should at least pretend like he wasn’t staring at Shiro, but that was nearly impossible when he saw Shiro headed back towards them, breathing heavily and clearly winded, but smiling all the same. When he reached the group, he flung his arm around Keith’s shoulder.

“Come on, Keith! Dance with me,” Shiro pleaded.

Keith resolutely stared straight ahead, knowing that if he met Shiro’s eyes, he would give in to Shiro’s demands. He would not be swayed that easily. Not today.

“It’s so nice to see two boys that are such close friends!”

Instead, Shiro’s words had been met by those of a stranger, an older lady. Keith wasn’t sure where her ideas were coming from. After all, she was attending the wedding of two men, so surely she wasn’t trying to passive-aggressively imply that he and Shiro couldn’t be something more than friends, right? Or maybe she was just someone’s confused elderly relative who didn’t quite know what was going on. Or maybe she was incredibly perceptive and somehow knew that he and Shiro weren’t actually dating. Or maybe–

Keith couldn’t think properly. For some reason, this lady’s question caught him off-guard and all he could do was stand there and stare at her. Shiro, on the other hand, just smiled at her calmly. He moved his arm from Keith’s shoulder to his waist, and pulled Keith closer to him.

“Well ma’am, that’s very kind of you, but he’s actually my boyfriend.”

Then, as if to prove the nature of their relationship to her, he pressed a kiss to the corner of Keith’s mouth.

Keith felt his brain short-circuit.

***

When the DJ announced that the newlyweds had requested all the couples join them on the dance floor, Keith wanted to disappear. There was no avoiding this, not unless he wanted to come right out and admit that the whole thing had been a ruse right from the start.

He desperately grabbed Shiro’s arm and tugged him onto the dance floor, deliberately looking at his feet the entire time. While, he knew that Shiro would sense something was off, frankly he didn’t care. At this point, all he wanted to do was get this dance over with so that he could move on with his life unscathed.

The song was slow, melodious and sweet. Keith felt like throwing up.

Shiro’s hand in his, their gentle swaying in time to the music, reminded him too much of the way they had danced in the living room. It had felt so real then, so genuine. Keith had been able to pretend that the attention Shiro was giving him was indicative of something more. Now, though, he couldn’t conjure up that fantasy. He was acutely aware that this was just a means to an end.

Not once did Shiro step on his feet, Keith noticed.

***

For the rest of the evening, Shiro and Keith made an effort to avoid catching each other’s eyes. The night dragged on, both of them unsure of what to say to each other to diffuse the tension. Even the forced proximity of the car couldn’t bring them to discuss what had happened. The ride back to the Fuentes’ house had been quiet, broken only by the Keith’s soft instructions on how to get home. Keith was painfully aware of how close they were, of how he could reach across and touch Shiro, if he worked up the nerve.

Shiro turned into the driveway slowly, letting the car stall for a moment before pulling the key from the ignition. He twisted in his seat to say something, but Keith had already closed the car door behind him. Shiro followed him into the house, unsure of whether he should make his way up to their shared room or if he should camp out on the couch. It would be awkward when Keith’s mom found him in the morning, especially since their whole plot would probably come to light, but it was infinitely preferable to making Keith even more uncomfortable than he clearly already was.

He heard the shower turn on, the sound of water hitting tile muffled through the bathroom door. He took the opportunity to grab his stuff from their room. He just needed the essentials. Sweatpants, t-shirt, pillow. Maybe a spare blanket if he could find one. It shouldn’t take long, he reassured himself.

He was wrong. He got as far as the bed before stalling. The pillow he grabbed smelled sweet, the lingering scent of Keith’s shampoo clinging to it.

How could everything have gone so wrong? Less than twelve hours ago, Keith had been lying next to him, exhausted from their long day on the road. Shiro had woken up with Keith in his arms, their bodies sweetly tangled together. He had felt at peace, so comfortable that he had immediately fallen back to sleep. Honestly, nothing had ever felt so right.

But that had been last night. Tonight, he would be sleeping alone, curled up on a couch that was too short for someone his height. Fuck, what was living with Keith going to be like after this, after he had royally screwed up their friendship? Would they live in silence, skirting around each other and pointedly not talking? Would Keith want to move out? Would he expect Shiro to move out? Shiro’s head spun, full of questions that he couldn’t answer, that he didn’t want to answer.

The door creaked behind him, alerting him that he wasn’t alone anymore. Keith stood in the doorway, drying his hair with a towel and refusing to make eye contact with Shiro. The silence in the room felt heavy, oppressive almost. Shiro wanted to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come out. They caught in his throat, making him feel like he couldn’t breathe.

It was a long moment before he finally managed to force them out.

“Keith, I’m – I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I know I crossed a line and I shouldn’t have done it – I shouldn’t have kissed you. I just got caught up in the moment, not that that’s an excuse, it’s just. Let’s just forget –”

Keith cut him off with a look.

“Just… stop. Please. I can’t do this, Shiro. I can’t just pretend like everything’s alright because it’s not. This – this has never been...” He paused. “Casual. Not for me. I can’t just let you kiss me, because while it may not mean anything to you, it meant everything to me. I can’t forget that.”

Keith’s face blanched as he realized what he’d just confessed. He lowered his head and shouldered past Shiro, running from the room before he was forced to face the consequences of his words.

“Keith!”

***

He refused to stop, not wanting to see the rejection in Shiro’s face, not wanting to have to face the fact that he had completely ruined his friendship with Shiro.

And he ran. He ran until his lungs burned, until his legs ached, until he felt like he was going to collapse.

His feet took him to the familiar neighborhood park, the one that he always used to come to when he had too much on his mind. Whenever the house got too loud and he felt like he was suffocating, he would inevitably come back here. He had completely forgotten about it. It had been years since he had to retreat to the safety of the quiet park and its solitary swing.

He sat down on the swing and rocked a little, letting the slow movement steady him like it used to.  

Eventually, he was going to have to talk to Shiro, but right now he just needed to breathe.

***

Shiro punched in Lance’s number, his hands shaking as he dialed. Every second that the phone rang, unanswered, was one more second that Shiro replayed the whole evening over in his mind.

“This better be real fucking good, Shiro. You’re interrupting a _very_ special night for me.” Lance’s voice seemed to cut through the air, forcing Shiro back to the present.

“I…” Shiro started. How was he supposed to explain this?

“You’ve got exactly ten seconds, dude. I have a husband demanding my attention who I’d really like to get back to.”

“I can’t find Keith.” The words fell out.

“What the fuck?” Lance’s tone shifted from playful impatience to something more agitated, laced with anger. “He was with you all night. He can’t just have… disappeared. What did you say to him?”

“I didn’t say anything. He didn’t give me a chance to.”

Before he knew it, he was spilling everything to Lance. Everything, from the day he had agreed to be Keith’s pseudo-boyfriend, to the kiss and what Keith had said to him in the bedroom just an hour before.

“I screwed up, Lance.” He steeled himself, knowing that Lance was going to be less that pleased with him.

“Yeah, that’s an understatement. You and Keith both. Jesus, couldn’t you two have gotten your shit together _before_ my wedding?” The indignation in his voice had spiked into a full-fledged anger.

“I know. Trust me, I know. I need to fix it. I have to talk to him, but I don’t know where he would have gone. Please, Lance. I need your help.” Shiro’s voice was small, a desperate plea.

“Why should I tell you? You may be my friend, but Keith is my brother. I don’t want to see him hurt.”

“Neither do I, believe me. I just want to talk to him. Tell him how… how I feel.”

“Listen, Keith is fucking head-over-heels for you, okay? You screw this up and I will personally make sure you regret it.” Lance sighed, the anger fading from his voice. “There’s a park over on Cherry Street. Keith thinks I didn’t know where he would run to when he needed space when we were kids. He probably went there.”

Shiro felt a small amount of relief wash over him. He could fix everything.

“Shiro?” Lance seemed to hesitate on the other end of the phone. “Go get him. Bring him home.”

***

It was past midnight when Shiro finally found the park that Lance had been referring to. There Keith was, just as Lance said he would be, swaying a little on the swing and clearly lost in thought.

Every one of Shiro’s footsteps seemed to echo in the empty street as he pressed towards the park. The sound broke Keith’s reverie as well as the night’s silence. He stood up, ready to disappear again.

“Keith, wait!” Shiro ran the last few steps to him, catching him by the wrist before he could bolt again.

“Keith, I need you to listen to me. Just, hear me out.” Shiro took a moment to catch his breath and gather his thoughts. “You were saying something back at the house, something about how this wasn’t casual for you. Keith…it’s never been casual for me either.”

For what felt like the first time that evening, Keith met his eyes.

“Keith.” Shiro couldn’t stop saying his name. It felt imperative, as if he could convey all his feelings and emotions in that one syllable. “Remember what I said to your mom last night? I meant every word. I never had to _pretend_ to be in love with you, Keith. Because, well... I always have been.”

Shiro sat down on one of the nearby park benches, letting his grip on Keith’s hand loosen. He felt a little unsteady, the weight of what he had just said hitting him in the gut.

Keith stepped closer to him tentatively, but didn’t pull his hand back. For a while, he just stood there, quiet and reserved. He sat down next to Shiro, taking Shiro’s hand and holding it in both of his.

“I... I really like you, Shiro.” he mumbled, his voice barely more than a whisper. “This has been so hard, being close to you while having to pretend that it’s not what I wanted more than anything else.”

Keith blinked slowly, a little unsure what Shiro was saying was real. After a moment, he let out a soft laugh. “We’re both fucking idiots, aren’t we?”

Shiro smiled. “Let’s not be too hard on ourselves. We got there in the end.”

He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against Keith’s. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, drinking in Keith’s scent.

“Can I – can I kiss you?” Shiro’s words came out slowly, hesitantly. “For real this time.”

“Please.”

Shiro cradled Keith’s face in his hands, pulling him into a deep kiss. He drew back slowly, taking the time to memorize every line of Keith’s face.

“I really like you, too. In case that wasn’t obvious,” he said, voice low.

Keith smiled and pulled Shiro down for another kiss.

It felt like coming home.

***

The library’s reading room was a little bit louder than it normally was, and, truth be told, a little louder than they would normally permit. But it was Tuesday, after all, and the children who had come for Storytime would not be quieted, not until Shiro cracked open a book and started reading. There were also a fair number of tittering moms lining the back wall, keeping a close eye on their children while they gossiped. He felt certain that their numbers had increased exponentially in the past few weeks, but he was at a loss as to why. It’s not as if the program had changed at all recently. They were still reading the same tried-and-true picture books that they always had been.

Today’s selection, _Tacky the Penguin_ , had always been one of Shiro’s favorites, not that he would ever actually admit that to anyone. His expansive knowledge of children’s literature was sort of embarrassing, no matter what Keith said to the contrary. Keith insisted that it was endearing, but Shiro had his doubts.

Shiro stood at the front of the room, fiddling with his tie and adjusting his waistcoat as he waited for the kids to quiet down so that he could start to read.

“There once was a penguin,” he began, sitting down on his stool as he began to settle into the story.

Allura always insisted that Shiro was the best storyteller the library had. She said that he had a way of bringing the stories to life, a knack for drawing children into whatever story they were reading. He often got caught up in whatever imaginary world he was creating, which made the knock on the door all the more startling. Keith sauntered into the room a moment later, catching sight of Shiro and grinning widely. He held up a brown paper bag as he made his way over to where Shiro sat.

“Sorry for interrupting, but you forgot your lunch. Figured I’d drop it off.” Keith’s voice was low, as if he didn’t want the room at large hearing him.

“Thanks, babe.” Shiro smiled up at his boyfriend. “I’ll see you later tonight?”

Keith nodded. Before he could turn to leave, Shiro grasped the collar of Keith’s uniform, tugging him closer so that he could press a kiss to Keith’s cheek as a thank you. Keith’s cheeks reddened.

As he passed the group of ladies in the back on his way out, he heard one of them quietly mumble to herself, “Damn, the hot librarian is taken.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [tumblr](http://stargazershiro.tumblr.com/)! 
> 
> If you liked it, please comment! I love hearing from you guys!


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